At some point in our lives we start to lose sight of ourselves because of the hamster wheel of everyday life, the overwork and the never-ending to-do lists. It is easy to lose touch with our true self and worse, to lose our self-esteem when we feel we are not good enough.
In this article, I wanted to give you some guidelines to help you begin to rebuild your confidence by increasing your self-esteem.
To do this, you must first change your perception of yourself. You need to change the way you look at yourself and the way you see yourself. Everyone has a self-perception. Everyone has a mental image of who they are, what they are capable of and where they are going.
If you suffer from low self-confidence, you have a negative view of these things. You probably feel that you are not worth much and that anything you try will result in mediocrity or failure. You need to work on your self-perception if you want to increase your self-esteem and build your confidence. To start the process of improving your self-esteem, you need to incorporate these daily habits into your life.
1. Change Your Self-Talk
Self-talk is merely the act of talking to yourself, either mentally or aloud. It is any thought that pops into your head in reaction to external stimuli. How you feel about situations depends on what you tell yourself.
If you think about the situation negatively, it will lead to negative feelings such as irritation or anxiety. Thinking about the situation in a positive way will lead to positive feelings such as excitement or happiness.
When you work on increasing your self-esteem, you become more aware of the constant self-talk that leads to negative feelings and you can replace it with positive self-talk that promotes higher levels of self-esteem.
For example, if you keep telling yourself that you are fat every time you look in the mirror, you need to stop and replace these thoughts with words of encouragement. In this example, you have trained yourself to look at areas of your body that make you feel insecure and reinforce your insecurity by saying "I'm fat".
Teaching yourself to look in the mirror and appreciate your body, or to focus on an area that makes you feel good, will change your self-image and confidence over time.
2. Practice Affirmations
Affirmations are simple, positive statements that you say about yourself to change negative thought patterns. You can say a set of affirmations every day or use them to replace negative self-talk. Affirmations help to improve self-esteem by implanting new beliefs to replace beliefs that cause low self-esteem.
If you are trying to change your automatic thoughts and negative self-talk, it is helpful to have a set of affirmations to use in place of the old negative thought patterns that you have developed. With enough repetition, affirmations will become embedded in your subconscious mind.
3. Stop Comparing
You have to realize that you are unique. You also need to realize that you never get the whole story and that everyone puts on a front to hide their insecurities.
When you compare yourself to others, you are only comparing yourself to the façade that others present to the world. Everyone has thoughts, doubts, insecurities, judgments and other inner struggles that they deal with in their minds.
You also need to stop using comparisons to make yourself feel good about yourself. It is tempting to do in an effort to feed your own ego, but it turns into a vicious cycle.
When you use comparisons to make yourself feel better, your brain will automatically use it to make you feel worse. The only way to escape this is to cut yourself off from making comparisons between yourself and others.
4. Eliminate Judgment
Judgment is one of the most destructive and unproductive habits you can develop. Unfortunately, few people live a life that is free of judgmental thoughts. Judgment and true trust are incompatible. One can never experience true peace while holding on to judgments.
Judgment becomes habitual in us; we do it naturally without even realizing it. We judge ourselves as a form of punishment for not being perfect, and we judge others to make ourselves feel better.
People who are truly happy with themselves do not feel the need to judge others or themselves.
The first step towards this kind of freedom is to accept that there is nothing perfect in the universe. You must learn to accept yourself as you are and to accept others in the same way. Everyone comes into this world with a different personality, has had different experiences that have shaped us, and we all continue to face challenges. It is unfair to judge anyone.
5. Incorporate Self-Care
Neglecting your own needs can contribute to low self-esteem as well as being a symptom of low self-esteem. Self-care is simply doing something because it makes you happy. It can be as simple as relaxing in a bubble bath, having a massage or going for a walk by yourself. Self-care is often seen as selfishness. People often feel guilty about taking time for themselves because they think they are depriving others of happiness.
The first step to changing this is to recognize that you are worthy of time and attention, and to let go of any guilt-inducing thoughts. Next, you need to think of one thing you can do on a regular basis that is 100% for you.
Tell your loved ones that you are doing it and be as committed to yourself as you are to everyone else.
6. Letting go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is often a cover for insecurity. It is also the number one enemy of self-confidence. Perfectionism stems from the underlying belief that one must be perfect in order to deserve love and acceptance from oneself and others.
It indicates that an individual bases his or her self-worth on achievements and defines his or her self-concept based on actions. This mindset leads to drastic fluctuations in mood and self-confidence, and immense pressure to always do everything right.
You need to let go of your perfectionist tendencies. You need to develop unconditional love and acceptance for yourself and know that you are separate from your actions and achievements. The more willing you are to accept yourself when you make mistakes, the higher your self-esteem will become.
7. Celebrate Daily Victories
It can be overwhelming when we try to change any aspect of our lives. Change takes time, and it can only happen through daily action. There have been many people who have overcome shyness and developed healthy self-esteem, but it hasn't happened overnight. To stay motivated on your journey to increasing your self-esteem and building your confidence, you need to recognize and celebrate the small victories.
Celebrating small victories when working towards a goal will also help to build your confidence. You deserve credit and must be willing to give yourself credit. If you always focus on how far away you are from your ultimate goal, your journey can become a struggle filled with doubt and disappointment.
Instead, celebrate the small successes along the way and be filled with the encouragement and energy to continue.
8. Practice Gratitude
People with low self-esteem tend to focus on the negative experiences and lacks in their lives. It is easy to focus on what you want but don't have, and it takes effort to change this perspective. Expressing appreciation and gratitude for everything in your life will shift your perspective in each moment and eventually change your perception of yourself and the world.
When practicing gratitude, be thankful for the blessings in your life and for who you are as a person. Take a moment to list three unique things you appreciate about yourself and three things you are grateful for in your life. Try to incorporate a daily practice of gratitude for yourself and the world and see the impact it has on your overall self-esteem.
9. Set Realistic Expectations
Setting goals and working towards them can help build your confidence. However, if you set unrealistic standards, you will only end up feeling defeated. What I mean by unrealistic is goals that are not aligned with your true self or with the reality and priorities in your life. If you set goals according to society's standards or to look like someone you admire, you will fall back into the comparison loop and risk losing yourself again.
If you have something you want to work towards, set a realistic goal that you can work on today. Keep your goals concrete, measurable and achievable in several steps, and be sure to celebrate each small victory along the way.
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"A winner is a dreamer who never gives up."
Nelson Mandela
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