A few days ago I had an interesting conversation with another French expatriate. He's in the US, not Switzerland, but it made me realize that regardless of location, all expats seem to go through similar phases of self-doubt, loneliness, questioning and, let's face it, also the thrill of pretty awesome life experiences.
It feels like a never-ending cycle of change, with a wide range of different emotions running through our minds and hearts. We always know why we leave our home country, but we regularly ask ourselves why we stay where we are and what it would be like to come back "home".
Unfortunately, returning home is not the easiest solution, because we have built a life, a career, a reputation, a track record, and most of the time a family in this new place. More or less consciously, we have planted new roots for our family tree, and it is not just up to us to move back, but a whole new forest of people, memories, emotional and financial investments.
But why is it so hard to be an expat? Why are we, once so excited by the thrill of discovering something new and building our dream life and career in a new territory, regularly faced with those deep, disturbing questions about belonging, self-identity, values, and what comes next?
If you listen to expat conversations, you'll quickly notice that they don't talk so much about why they made the move, but rather ask each other how well they feel integrated, what kind of school they put their children in, what languages they speak at home, and whether or not they see themselves staying there forever. Because that is always the big question - being an expat because it is better for our career is one thing - but do we want to retire there? Is our social network and close family rooted enough to finally stop thinking about going back "home"?
In career coaching, personal situation and goals are always linked. This is even truer for expatriates, who are constantly torn between their willingness to integrate and create a new home and the constant reminder that they are outsiders. This daily ping-pong can potentially reinforce insecurities, self-doubts about communication skills and career growth opportunities.
"Céline, I am not sure how people perceive me and my communication style. I always feel out of place and this makes it hard for me to feel as confident as I should. " - an expat coaching client.
Personally, it took me two years after arriving in Zurich to make friends and to build a solid social network and sense of belonging. Still, I am torn every day between my growing "Swissness" and my need to keep my French touch alive.
And this is something I regularly discuss with my coaching clients, as among their potential career challenges, there is often a search for clarity about their new self, mixed between the values and communication style they grew up with and the new identity they want to create to better belong.
Navigating the emotional labyrinth of expatriation can often feel like you're strapped into a thrill ride, one minute soaring with excitement and the next plummeting into uncertainty.
It's a powerful experience that doesn't come with a manual.
If you've taken the leap across borders to pursue your career ambitions or personal dreams, it's vital to recognize the roller coaster for what it is—a normal part of the expatriation process.
Here are a few insights that might help you enjoy the ride:
Recognize and Acknowledge Your Feelings - It's perfectly natural to have a complex mix of emotions as an expat. Accept them; they validate your courage in facing new challenges.
Reflections on the Positive - In the whirlwind of settling in, take a moment to reflect on the positive changes since your move. What have you gained? Skills? Friends? Perspective?
Cultivate Gratitude and Belonging - Gratitude turns your new environment into a space of appreciation. Cherish the local support, kind gestures, and new friendships that contribute to your sense of belonging.
Savor the Present - Resist the urge to dwell on what you've left behind. Instead, immerse yourself in your new surroundings. Every unique experience is a building block for unforgettable memories.
Envision Your Future - What does success look like in your new home? Visualize your goals, the relationships you'll nurture, and the impact you'll have. Your aspirations can transform any temporary homesickness into a powerful motivator.
Whether you're just contemplating a move abroad or already deep into your expat adventure, remember that you’re not alone.
Work with me and let's craft a new narrative.
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